It’s been a crazy month since Love Fest in the Midwest. There’s been a trip to DC for our favorite musical theater/spoken word scene La Ti Do, lots of preparation for the New York City Fringe Festival w/ our friend (who happens to be a stupendously talented drummer) Jarrett Walser, improv workshops, and work. and work. and work. Making money for our cd SAME BRAIN, which is going to be recorded MONDAY! Bob the Blob is about to be a pop star y’all.
But I digress. This is a tale of horse proportions. For those who don’t know, I (Cali) support my Slam Up habit by working at horse shows. My boss was desperate for another groom this week so she asked me if I knew of anyone who could work with only days notice.
Seeing as all my other friends are real people with real jobs, only one person came to mind. Emily Lowinger was going to pretend she was a horse girl. In the spirit of Slam Up, Emily was gonna fake it until she was a real live horse whisperer.
First she practiced her whispering on dogs:
Certainly getting along, but is she one with the animal?
She was clearly ready for horses, so off we went. For those who don’t know, working horse shows is a strange job-combo of customer service/cowboy/animal groomer/hair stylist/ultimate shit-scooper-upper. Emily learned what a day in the life of being a horse obsessed person looked like real quick.
The Day in the Life of a Groom:
Wake up (around 6/6:30 AM), feed yourself, drive to show, feed horses, muck out stalls…
CAUGHT! Mac peed the bed again.
Horse can create a ton of poop in no time flat. Literally.
…groom horses, lunge horses (make them go in a circle overandoverandoveradoverandover again until they get the wiggles out), groom horses, tack horses, walk horse to ring, wait…
While waiting snag pics of awesome bystanders.
…walk horse home, groom horses, untack horses, clean out/up poop, feed horses, rack aisle, tack horses, bathe horses, untack horses, unbraid horses…
It’s like cornrows. For horses.
The ultimate hair extensions aka fake tails (they truly exist).
…feed horses. Leave (anywhere from 4:30-6:30). Get to hotel room. Lie down for 20 minutes, maybe send some Slam Up related emails (energy dependent), shower (energy dependent), eat, go back for night check, hay/water/medicine the horses (it’s 9 PM now). Pass. Out.
Archie knows all about exhaustion.
Maybe it was the sometimes nonstop work for hour-long stints with the horses, or the fact that we were with them for more than half the day some days, but Emily got real comfortable.
Peek-a-boo a la HORSE.
Some might say too comfortable?
She eventually settled down, and got herself a boyfriend, Archie (our new Slam Up hat model). His show name is Dark Night. He likes to cuddle. It’s a match made in heaven.
If there was an inter-species prom, they’d be King and Queen.
Even I got some summer lovin’.
It was a hard week emotionally and definitely physically. But we made it out in one piece. And… we’ve decided to incorporate horses into our future restaurant/cafe/creative haven/farm/performance space/slam up head quarters/hostel, The G Spot.
But before all that, The Fringe NYC. DON’T FORGET TO BUY YOUR TICKETS at www.slamup.org!
P.S. Is this real?